Faith and Flip Flops

Faith And Flip Flops – MOTY
Y’all, let me tell you, I am working hard on getting the coveted MOTY Award. You know – Mom of the year! Now, I ain’t doing it by the old fashioned customary way like being class mom for every child, making fancy designer cupcakes for my kid’s birthdays, Pinterest craft times with my kiddos (heck, my Pinterest boards do not even include glitter), wearing matching outfits with my daughter, showing up to church color coordinated or giving my children “the look” in public to make them do my bidding. Nope. Not me and my crew! We have left the paved road of normal and are mud bogging in the Jungle of Unique, off roading on Mount Flip Flop and riding the Roller Coaster of Doing Our Own Thing. We are the Hot Mess Express coming at ya with brakes screaming, sparks lighting up the sky and smoke trailing behind us. We may not get there on the same track we started on, but we WILL make it to the correct station!

How does one go about winning the MOTY Award? Well its stuff like this:

Example A: Dressing your child for clown day and sending them to school on the day you BELIEVE to be clown day only to pick them up and find out that clown day is the next day.

Example B: Taking your child to childcare during a holiday week and ALMOST leaving them before realizing there are absolutely ZERO cars in the parking lot. I missed the memo that they were closed that particular day.

Example C: Taking your child to daycare with a race car shirt on when they were supposed to wear their Halloween costume (oops, I did it again) I just told him he was Race Car Driver that day and we rolled with it.

Example D: Thinking you saw your child score a goal, but the glare was super bad and the fellow parents around you did not think it was a goal. Then seeing the child give you the evil eye and giving the ‘what the what look” back. After the game the child said he scored. I said he did not, or I would have cheered. I then made the child ask the coach in front of me who, along with that side of the bleachers, confirmed the goal. THEN I embarrassed him by cheering like a crazy Mom.

Example E: Making a child walk home because he farted in the car after I asked him nicely not to (calm down, we were already in the neighborhood).

Example F: Taking a flip flop off of one child to beat another child for dumping a Coke on the other child. There was a lot of screaming that day.

Example G: Buying 3 Toilet Paper Nerf guns for Christmas. I must have had too much Egg Nog when I hit Buy Now on Amazon that night. Trust me, you do not need one of these in your life, let alone three!

The list could go on, but I think you get the drift. The good news is that we all laugh at the crazy. I mean seriously, it is some funny stuff. Here is the most important part – I make no excuses

I will be honest the Hot Mess Express is not what I envisioned for my family. I envisioned the perfect Von Trapp Family, which included matching outfits, children marching in a line behind me happily singing a show tune and making Jazz Hands on the way to our beautifully prepared table set with the finest china. I managed some of that, for a while with the first child. He wore everything brand new and monogrammed, I checked with my friends to see what the biggest and best present was at each age, he absolutely could not be dirty, the house was spotless, dinner was cooked every night, over the top birthday parties, took care of my Nana, held board seats, hosted social events and managed to run my firm. One night I was playing with a Winnie the Pooh train, watching each minute tick by on the clock, waiting in AGONY for my toddler to go to bed so I could clean the house when God dumped cold water on me! I was wishing my time away with my child so I could CLEAN!!! What the heck was wrong with me??? It had taken FIVE years to get pregnant with that baby that I had prayed for. In the TWO years I had been gifted with him I had made myself a miserable crazy person striving for perfection. I would only get to enjoy this child for a short period of time in the grand scheme of things – what was I doing??

I was letting my crazy strive for perfection, that did not exist, run my life. Other people’s opinion was fueling my unobtainable goal. The social things I thought I had to do were stealing my time and joy! I finally turned the wheel over to God and we went off roading! Let me tell you, that was the best thing EVER! Once I felt the burdens begin to lift, it was ON! Store bought cupcakes, less volunteering, more dancing in the rain moments and way less caring about what people thought. It suited me. It suited my children. We are not and do not want to be the Von Trapp Family. We are the Campbell Crew – we do our thing within the lines we drew ourselves. I pray that my children take some of this with them and NEVER stumble over themselves or other’s idea of themselves. I hope they Rock Down to Electric Avenue and then Take it Higher, no matter what the naysayers opinion may be. I hope my daughter wins the MOTY one year too for NOT being perfect because I will know that she understands that perfection does not exist and striving for it is a big fat waste of time and happiness!